You Happy Now??

I would like to dedicate this post to someone. I'm not gonna say who you are. But I know that you know its you.

Remember when I first met you?? You told me to trust in you. I became your friend. I went to you for advice. You were older than me. It was fun wasn't it??

Boy was I stupid enough to trust you. You told everything I told you to other people didn't you?? You told them how pathetic I was, how desperate I was in need of a friend. You bite me in the back didn't you?? I know, cause I've heard. You came to me with those fake smiles of yours. Those fake words and those acts that you commit, pretending like you even give a shit.

Or do you remember that time, when you were in deep shit. I had to take the blame for you. Because it was the way a man should act. Thinking that a man should always forgive a woman's doing. I was stupid enough to even believe that you deserve a second chance. You burned me hard. I can't believe you did what you did. Blaming more stuffs on me was the only thing you do best.

Owh and remember that one moment when I shut you out of my life?? You don't?? Well you know now. It begins today. Your selfless acts that you do. Those many many moments when you came to me for help, and I was willing to help you. But when I was in need of help, or even a friend. You were never there. You were never able to reply me. As soon as you got what you wanted, you left me. You used me.

I can't believe I stood up for your shits for so long. The reason I trust in you was because you were once that nice, thoughtful, caring girl. But I guess all that was just acting wasn't it?? It was just to pass time and get dirt out of me. You even know who I'm really in love with. Well guess what, I got something to say to you.

I wanna thank you. You thought me not to trust people easily. You thought me that there are lot of people like you in the world. You thought me that my life is dead. Filled with bacteria feeding on me. It will only be a matter of time before I disappear from this world.

Because of you, I can never trust anyone.

Thank You.

You shattered me.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

Mute For A Day.

I've been having nightmares. And I don't know why. It actually punches fear into me. I have fear of sleeping.

There's this girl in school. I dreamt about her. And Jaybee, I hate you. Cause I just do. But I love you at the same time. You know. But the girl isn't Jaybee. Its someone else. I don't want to mention her name. Cause people might get chaotic about it.

I appeared in this place. A dock actually. I have no idea where. Everyone was there. Mostly my class. I think it was a field trip. But we weren't wearing uniforms. We were standing close to the egde of the dock. The water was dark. As if it was never ending.

I was standing quite a distant away from her. People started shouting. I dont know why. They shouted her name. She fell into the water. We waited, but she didn't come up. I jumped down. I swam down. Not feeling abit tired at all. I saw her..Unconcious and still drowing down. I kept swimming down tp grab her. No one seems to be helping. I couldn't reach her. I was running out of breath.

I had to make the hardest decision ever. It was either I swim down to get her, or I swim back up for air. at the end, I woke up. Breathing really hard. As if I was out of breath. I don't know. It just seems..unusual.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Say What The Fuck!

Look what I found in today's newspaper.

This is for the ladies. Don't get any wrong ideas.

Woman Strangles Boyfriend With Bra.

Police in Vietnam have arrested a woman accused of strangling her boyfriend to death with her bra, a police official said Thursday.

The 26-year old woman was arrested on Wednesday at her rented house in a small town in Quang Ninh province, 160km east of Hanoi, according to Le Sy Toan, a chief investigator of the town's Police Department.

The alleged murder took place on Monday. Toan said the 28-year old boyfriend had previously beaten the woman, suspecting she was romantically involved with another man.

"The woman testified she was infuriated with her boyfriend, so she unbuttoned the bra she was wearing to choke him as he was lying on the bed in the rented house," the policeman said. "She said she just wanted to threaten him."

Condom Lubricant Popular Acne Cure For Women.

A condom lubricant designed for sex workers and gay men has become popular acne cure among female Cambodians, women in the capital and local media said Thursday.

Number One Plus, a water-based lubricant produced by health organisation Population Services International, is an excellent cure for acne, 29-year old vender Tep Kemyoeurn told AFP.

"After I used it for three drays, all of my acne dried up and went away," she said. "Many people believe in it," she added.

Khen Vanny, 29, from Phnom Penh, told AFP that women of all ages have taken to using the lubricant to get rid of spots.

"It is very effective. Some people dont believe in it but people who do really get a good result," she said, adding: "My youngest sister and my aunt use it too."

Another woman told Khmer-language Kampuchea Thmey newspaper that she had used many kinds of medicine to treat acne but none had worked.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

Black, White and Red.

I had this dream. It's still circulating in my head. How could so many people, all with different faces, unknown faces - yet, some with familiar faces all appear in not just one dream.. but three.

Alicia..you were in it. Tiff, you too. Bel, you kept following Tiff. Even Wen Yi, you were noticeable. Jon you were like the main one in one of my dreams. Benny, Ian, Hean..people are hardly know. Lu See, Aime, Jia Hui, Yazin, Leong - You guys appeared in it too.

It all happened very clearly. The memory of the dreams are still in my head, all clear, like as if I was watching it again as I say it. Alicia.. you came looking for me. I was having an outing with Aime. You took me and Aime into the cinema. No one was there. It was dark, and we walked into a dark corner where the walk seemed endless. I popped into another place. A place I have never seen before. It was another building. The area was massive. We were at ground floor, staring up to the 20th floor through the circular hole in the building. Each floor was packed with people.

Jon passed through. And he called me to follow. Aime was gone, Alicia too. He brought me to this fountain located inside the building. The water was shallow, filled with flat stones that could be stepped on with ancient stone heads spitting out water from their mouths. It was scary, and yet beautiful. Tiff and Bel came along with Wen Yi. I chatted with them a little.

Andy: What're you guys doing here??
Tiff: We got chosen too.

I was blank. They walked away. Jon came back and without even knowing what I was doing, I said "I'm in it too." It was weird. I remembered I saw Jia Hui, and I sneaked up behind her...I still wished her happy birthday. Jia Hui, you said you were going to have breakfast at the cafeteria and asked me if I would like to join you. I said yes. We walked through this door, and this time we were outside..but was still surrounded by a whole lot of long shops that never seem to end. And yet, none of the stores were open. Everything was white, the floor, the buildings, everything. Alicia joined us again. We walked for quite sometime. I fell through the floor and the fall seemed endless. I hit rock bottom eventually. Thats when my whole body jerked up and I woke from my sleep. It was just a dream.

It didnt take me long to fall back asleep. I had the same dream again. I was brought back to before I fell. This time, I walked to the far side instead of the middle. Nothing happened. No fall. We reached the cafeteria. Jon, Benny and the gang were there..eating. Everyone sat at one table. I had no idea what was going on. The place was really bright. Probably because everything was white in colour. The sun was blocked by the roof above our heads. I went for a walk, alone. I could see the sun but the view around me..were just plain white blocks of shops. The sky turned dark really quickly..and it was a mixture of black and red. A lighting flashed through the sky. The sound of the thunder was unbearable. Thats when I woke up again.

It was thundering outside. But no rain. My heart was beating really fast, but i went back to sleep since it was thundering and it makes me comfortable sleeping. Don't ask me why, it just does. What came after, was no longer a dream. It was a nightmare. People were running and screaming, thats what I remembered. Its as if the dream continued. I walked against the crowd all coming at me. I dont know, I was walking to the cafeteria. But the crowd passed, and no one was left. The paths seems so different. It was all red and black. Shadows were passing from each corner. It was creepy. I ran. I saw Leong with Yazin, something happened to them. They were standing still, not even a blink. its as if they were dummies.

I saw Lu See which was one of the shadows I tried to follow. It was her's. She told me to run and she pulled me by the wrist and started running. The run was endless, but i wasn't feeling a bit tired. Not even a drop of sweat. were on the second floor. I could see plants burning, but everything was a mixture of black and red. I saw a shadow in front, hiding behind an alley. I felt it wasnt right. I stopped, pulled Lu See backwards, and pulled another time on her and she stumbled really far behind me. The last image I saw, was quick and terrifying. As soon as I pulled Lu See behind me, I took a look back to see if Lu See was okay and told her to run. As soon as I turned back to look front, this skull-like beast was locking face to face with me, and in an instant, the huge paw..or just a giant hand with claws..i dont know. I was slash in the head.

I woke up. All sweaty. It was 5am. My room was hot. I didnt go back to sleep. My heart was beating surprisingly fast. It took me a while to calm down. I took my shower for more than 30mins. Just standing under the shower head. The water was cold, but it woke me up.
I'm still confused though. What was I at that place for?? Was I chosen for something?? Whatever it is..I'm just glad its over.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

I Pee Ice. Shit Fire

Hey guys, I'm back after a couple of weeks. Alot of things happened then, most of you people know already so I'm not gonna go into it anymore.

So..today was the last day of my assessment two, it was suppose to be yesterday but they included MIB in it so we had to do it today. It was an okay kind of day, you know, highs and lows but overall it was good.

I just got back from Manggis Hua Ho and I was a little bit depressed. Not because I was emo but something happened. This is the story. So I was just browsing around at those shampoo and products sections with all those perfumes, gels, and all sorts of creams in a bottle and a sales assistant came and ask me if I was looking for something. I told her I was just browsing around. And then she said a mean thing which she didnt realise. She was like "Do you use any facial creams??" And I was like "yeah yeah I do." In my head I was actually cursing her. "Why?? Cause my face isnt as clear as yours?? Cause I got pimples all over my face??" But yeah, bitches..what you gonna do??

________________________


Aight. Some of ya'll might already know what I'm planning to do. For those who don't, here's my idea. I went into my dungeon[store room] and pulled out my dad's old video camera. Its not really that old, we bought it in 2005 but no one seems to be using it now so I took it, cleaned it, changed a little bit of the stuffs and its working properly now.

I'ma gonna make videos of myself and the people around me. Not interesting stuffs though, just things to pass the time and entertain myself. We could do something fun and interesting if you guys want. Give me ideas and plots. We could make our own video. I'm not sure how long its gonna last but yeah. Its more of a hobby. Im definitely bringing em to field trips too.

__________________________

I saw Ramesh at Malay Tuition. Nope Jane, I'm not the one having tuition. Cindy was. He doesnt recognize me no more. I don't blame him though cause I didn't recognize him either. Well, actually I did but I wasn't sure if it were him. He got mustache now! Dayum how fast time flies. The dude that calls me a Chink and me calling him a Nigga.

_________________________

Finally the main event before I go. I wanna say Happy Birthday to .......... Whats your name again?? RIGHT! Jia Hui =D. Corny..I Know. But who gives a shit.

Jia Hui! =D <33!! Happy Birthday!! Sorry about us not being able to go out. Blame Alicia! =D
But yeah, we go out next time =D. I'll pray for that 8As you want so much for PMB C=. Remember!! Less than 8As means you have to treat me.

And one more thing, you should be proud. Not many old people still look as pretty as you are XP. Enjoy being 15. I love you! =D

Peace out babes!

P.S Aime, I miss you too C=

P.S.S Listen to KL To Beirut by DJ Fuzz. Malaysian Nation!! <33

.Kuroro Lucifer.

You're So Lucky That I'm Around.

My unique mind has thought of a great idea.

Wouldn't it be cool if every exam paper had 100 questions?? Not only that but 100 true/ false questions. Just think, 50 questions with the answer true, and 50 questions with the answer false.

Now lets do a little mind spin. For those who are lazy to study for the exams and are "destined" to fail can answer the WHOLE paper either writing it as all true or all false. Just think writing all false would get you 50 right and 50 wrong. That's like 50%. Its good enough for me =D.

________________________

Aight, my today. I slept for a complete 10 hours, it was damn good. Got woken up by Aime. I went for another facial again today. Was fudging painful. After that aime told me to go to the mall with her, and i did. We watched Mummy 3. It wasn't as good as I hoped. There were alot of holes in that movie. I kept poking the mistakes XP. Not much logic either. I'm not saying that the movie was stupid, I'm saying that it could at least be more logical.

Its already evening and there's school tomorrow. God I hate school. Its dead to me. Seriously. I'ma gonna find a way to set Shanti on fire. XP.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

In Life, Each Of Us Have A Role To Play

Its that time again. A dude asked me to name my top 20 friends and why. After alot of thinking and crossing outs. I finally have my top 20.

1. Alicia - For Everything.
2. Audrey - For the craziness.
3. I'm gonna go with...Ruth - Probably for the hugs and weird talks.
4. Joel - The retardation.
5. Arif - The Gatalness.
6. Maria - Care.
7. Jaybee probably - For the wacky talks.
8. Aime - She's the best when it comes to conversations and musics.
9. Rahat - For being my negro amigo.
10. Mary Jane - For the laughs.
11. Senussi - For his...idiocracy.
12. Khairi - He has to be here.
13. Nizam - Talks about sports and others.
14. Joey!!! - When I need to do some chinese talkings.
15. Cynthia - Her telling stories in chinese.
16. Jazzreen!! <33 - For her love.
17. Dayat - For his weirdness in everything
18. Haziq - The sneaks he and dayat does that makes everything funny.
19. Hafiz - For his guitar playing skills and his "ability" to do silent communication.
20. Ivan - Cause he makes me feel like a man.

Did I forget anyone?? Sorry if you're not in it. Its not that I dont consider you in it, its just that I cant think of anyone right now.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

There's No Such Thing As Love In My Dictionary.

Its the second day in a row. It's 2am. The soft murmurs of the many episodes of Scrubs that I placed on my list are still playing. It had become a nuisance to my sleep. But that was just a minor gap of my problems. At the back of my head, you're images kept flashing - the different expressions you made during different occasions with multiple distant backgrounds. Have you not notice my burning desire for you or have you noticed, but just pretended that you hadn't??

I fantasize about saving you from people who tried to hurt you. I tried giving everything I've got. Was it enough to suffice?? To adapt the different response from you, was it worth the pain, was it worth the time, was it worth anything at all?? Even so, I cannot shake of the images in my head. Is it only me that see the beauty within you?? The beauty that isn't just physical. The beauty found in the things you do, and the people that you took care.

Its coming to 3, I hear noises behind the walls. My neighbours are arguing again. It's keeping me alert. An argument, whats it like when its between you and I?? we hadn't had one before. Its been a while since I met you. Its been a long time. The feeling stays the same.

Would have everything been different, If you never existed?? Would I gain freedom if you were never in my life?? But then, freedom is a word to define a life that no longer has anything to lose. Even so,

Even if you were never in my life,
I'd find you.
Even if you never notice my existence,
I'd notice yours.
Even if you never existed,
I'd invent you into existence.

This is who I was born to be, you are who I'm born to be with. Everything will fall into place. All we need, is a little hope and a little thing called destiny.

.Kuroro Lucifer.

Pause To Play.

I'm gonna show you a glimpse of what type of gadgets we're gonna have in the future. Note that some are already sold in stores. I've seen them here already.

Cell Phone




Sprout Umbrella



iPod Detachable Speakers





A Chair/ Mat/ Bed





Laptops..




Shoe..





Cell Phone



Notebook Lamp



Vaio Laptops




Tablet PC Made Of Wood




USB Flash Drive Watch



Rubik Cube MP3 Player




Oryx, The Bike Of The Future



Skylift - The Boarding System For Aircrafts



A Phone That Really Hangs Up





Cell Phones Inspired By Chinese Scrolls




Touchscreen Balance Cell Phone





Dual Music Player That Plays Your MP3 Collections and Your CDs





Nokia 888 Mobile Phone